You can’t hurry love
(slow and steady wins the race)
Published 12 March 2024
By Steve Goodall
Okay so maybe you've never heard of The Supremes, but I bet you know the song right?
This is all about feelings. I believe that dogs are so smart they can quickly lull guardian's into a false sense of security. Think about it... Here is a puppy who learned to do a hand touch in one session, who has been taught how to retrieve a toy, on cue, in a couple of days... Why wouldn't they learn that being left alone isn’t that bad or traffic isn't scary or joggers are not to be chased in a similar timeframe?
We (both people in the industry and dog loving members of the public) often are bombarded with information that encourages us to go quick, rip the plaster off and get it done. We are warned about such dangers as “making a rod for our own backs” or treating dogs like babies etc. We can all be lured towards quick fixes like a moth gravitates towards a street light, yet we often find all this “advice” goes against our primal instincts and just feels icky.
The more research comes out, the more we see that mammalian brains work to a similar degree. If we are talking about puppies, for example, the jury is definitely out in terms of how impactful caregiving and closeness can be in those crucial early stages of development. We’ve seen countless examples of how failing to build solid trust and attachment can lead to all sorts of issues in the future.
The answer is understanding that a dog is not a computer, that certain issues take a lot longer than others to work through. If you find yourself working with a dog on something that requires a change in the way the dog feels, we need to learn these two things as minimum:
Take your sweet time. We don’t have to rush it and we’ll actually get there quicker if we don’t. Avoid flooding (overexposure) and tell ourselves the old adage "slow and steady wins the race".
Know when we need the help of someone else. Our superpower as trainers AND guardians is identifying when the task falls out of our skillset and needs the expertise of someone else. Reaching out for help is a superpower and knowing when to refer a case on, if you’re a professional, is one of the most important skills you can possess.
For anyone reading this that already works with dogs, I think that being able to communicate this concept of time, patience and expectation lowering is one of the most important skills we can learn. I often see people visibly relax in classes when I tell them it’s okay to have your puppy sleep with you or, it’s normal not to have a puppy fully toilet trained at 10 weeks old.
I find it amazing that so often a change of routine and some simple management can really help us humans find the much needed breathing space we need to begin moving forward.
So gang… Let’s make a deal, draw a line in the sand that from this day forward we will no longer be pressured by ourselves, or indeed, anyone else to feel like we have to “Enzo Ferrari” it and achieve everything as quickly as possible.
Have a great week :)