HAVE WE OUT DOGGED OURSELVES?!
Published on April 23rd, 2024
By Corrin & Steve Goodall
Everyone (or nearly everyone) who has re-homed a dog, got a new puppy or has shared their lives with a dog has asked themselves this soul searching question in the dead of night "What the hell have we done?"
Whether you're a professional in the dog world, a first time pet guardian or a kind soul who just wanted a companion in life, these niggling doubts would have crept in at some point. Left unchecked, these doubts can play on your mind, damage your human relationships and, in extreme circumstances, even lead to resentment.
Perhaps it was when it dawned on you that your life may never be the same again? Gone are the 'drop everything' moments for a spontaneous weekend away in Paris. So long to the 'long family holidays abroad'. Perhaps it was when the real personality of your rescue dog finally came to the surface and your confronted with 14 years of a dog you can't walk? Perhaps your dog is nervous of certain situations and needs more support than you (or your wallet) signed up for? Or perhaps it was when after the 15th consecutive night of hellish puppy biting when, covered in scratches and scars and with petrified children hiding upstairs, you finally got your puppy to take a nap?
The real truth is you can be as prepared as you possibly could be, you could of done all the research, trawled through every Facebook advice group out there, leaned on every professional you know and, perhaps even hung all your hopes on 'breed specific' forums but there will always be times when we ask ourselves 'Have I/we taken on too much?'
I'm writing this to let you know that if you've asked yourself this you are not alone. Far from it. I know good friends, great professionals and even dog experts who will attest to these doubts. It's part of what makes us, well, us. You are not letting yourself down. You are not letting your dog down. You are not letting your partner or family down. You are simply a human.
Living with, getting to know, understanding and building bonds with another human is hard enough, I remember living with my best friend and it not taking long before miscommunication came close to threatening our relationship, so why would we put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to a completely different species? Add the this that a dogs way of communication is still pretty alien to us. We observe and we infer what they mean as they move their bodies, vocalise and (often criminally over looked) use scent to interact with the environment. We find it hard to pull apart body language in context and this (in turn) leads us down confusing cul-de-sacs and frustrating dead ends.
So is the route of our doubts because we put ourselves up on this huge unachievable pedestal of being able to understand another species? Is it because we don't want to let everyone down? Maybe we ourselves just want to silence the doubters?
Whatever the reason may be I have learned over my years as a dog trainer that we all need to slow down with our dogs. This sounds tough right? Almost unachievable In this world of TikTok, YouTube videos, Facebook posts, clickbait and fast cuts. It can be difficult to slow down, focus and observe. I am far from great at it and, god knows, I fall flat on numerous occasions as I am only human.
Peaches our Newfoundland is an loveable, exuberant, massive bundle of puppy locked up in a giant breed Newfoundland body. When we first welcomed this (nearly) 60kg wonder dog into our lives we realised she could get frustrated easily and found it difficult to communicate to us what she needed at times.
In reality we have only one job at this very early stage, we had to listen to her.
We achieved this by observation, finding out what she needed and trying to meet those needs, we also gave her space and time to rest and grow in confidence at her own pace, by watching the little signs she is giving us to let us know she needs the toilet, wants to play, she is hungry or she is tired and acting accordingly. By starting to understand what each unique vocalisation she made meant. She then in turn started to understand us. She trusts and understands that we have her back and that we are, wholeheartedly and to the end 'Team Peaches'.
We lost our older dog Scooby in January 2020 just before the world plummeted into lockdown. He was our heart dog our first dog as a couple and he was truly fantastic. Peaches is not here to replace him but to join our little family of Corrin, Penny and myself in the next adventures and to write her own story.
Someone once told me (I've actually long forgotten who) that "love is time plus experiences". That always stuck with me for some reason and, only now, I’m starting to realise why. We might not have all the time in the world but we really look forward to all the experiences and adventures we will have.
Many of us have faced these dark thoughts at times and we likely will again. If I could offer any advice it would be: Take some time, slow down, observe your dog and definitely don't beat yourself. If you care about your dog, have their best interests at heart, try your hardest to make sure their needs are met and strive to know more about this wonderful species then you (as far as we are concerned) are excellent and you're doing the best you can.